Inexplicable Holiday Ennui

So there's nothing really wrong, but I find myself in emotional doldrums nonetheless. Por que? I usually ADORE the Holiday Season and its many traditions and celebrations. Has my inner child suddenly matured too much to enjoy the magic one always finds with such ease during this time of year? My heart shakes its head and laughs, as that will never happen, let's be honest.

Here's what I think: there are certain things I always assume for the Holidays and those things are not lining up as expected. I love to go crazy with gift giving; I love to go Home to Idaho to visit; I love to sing in Christmas programs; etc. Despite my best efforts and intentions none of these things are coming to fruition this year. Okay, big deal. I mean, so my traditions are a little unintentionally skewed this year, so what? Why am I allowing this to bring me down (because I am responsible for how I react to the various stimuli)? Does my Holiday Spirit dishevel with such ease because I have never built it upon a stronger, truer foundation? (Yikes, btw!)

I think I am being lazy. I really do. It takes effort sometimes to put on a happy face until it you really feel it. It is so easy to feel depressed, and Society guarantees every individual's entitlement with a Life Time Warranty, does it not? My plans may all be falling through the cracks, but that is okay. There will be other Christmases and some of them are sure to go as planned.

My house is not flooded, burned or destroyed, as are those of many families throughout our world. I have a loving people in my life, both family and friends, whose thoughts turn to those they love more than ever at this time of year. I am blessed never to want for love in my life. So many others in our world cannot say the same, or do not feel it even if it is there for them. I even have a decent paying job! And most importantly, no one has thrown (or desired to throw!) a pair of size 10 shoes at my little old noggin' regardless of my many imperfections. Phew!

What is this Season really about? It is about the Savior and His divine birth. When I think of this, my little plans and disappointments become things of naught.

(Funny how just typing this out has expunged most of my former langour. I feel better already--thanks for listening!)

Merry Christmas everybody. I miss you!

For the Nature Lovers

I dedicate this post to those out there who share my passion for all things Nature related. For as long as I can remember I have always loved to be outside and exploring the world around me. Lucky me, my husband enjoys the same things! We love it because you just never know what you will see or find on a given day--even in your own backyard. Case and point (please forgive the shoddy video, as I was on the phone with Mike while shooting):

And then...

A few weeks before these videos were shot, we found the exact same lizard chillin' in our house mailslot! We grabbed a wide-lipped vase from the pantry and slowly opened the slot leading into our kitchen. Out came the lizard and we promptly set him free in the backyard. Little did we know we'd be seeing him again so soon, and in our pool of all places! Michael thinks he may be one of his pet lizards from long ago that he set free in the backyard. He is really quite the little character and Mike found him hanging out behind a large brick near the front of our house just last week. I have affectionately named him Marco Polo and will let you know when we see him again--it's surely only a matter of time!

Remember to Look Up

(Autumn, 2006)

Sitting in my office cubicle amidst a flurry of office drama today, I chanced to cast my eyes upwards and caught the gentle sway of eucalyptus boughs in the wind as I looked through the large skylight near my desk. I was instantly transported. What a lovely escape!

My friends, take a moment sometime soon and "look up". A change of perspective may be just what you need when you are feeling overwhelmed, and there are so many ways to accomplish a new view for body, spirit and mind. Give yourself permission to refresh. You won't regret it!

Love At Home

My Pippy Cat and My Miguelito

As Thanksgiving approaches my thoughts naturally turn to that for which I am most thankful. I am blessed with so many wonderful family members, friends, pets and things and so have decided against listing them as I am sure to miss someone or something. Instead, for now, I would like to focus on something else: the feeling in our Home. You guys all know me well enough to know why it means so much to me to finally have a Home. When my mom passed away 16 years ago, everything my family and I had ever known seemed to change. Our family had splintered in our pain and it was then that I realized our Home was no longer really there. Yes, the house had somehow survived our universe shaking loss of Mama, but that did not mean it still felt the same. I was thirteen and I was adrift in my loss and my desire not to be different because of my loss. Thank heavens for my loving family in these times.

Many years have now passed, and I now have that which I find to be most precious: a Home. So many things work together to create the feeling of Home, don't they? Peace, order, love and our little family made up of Michael & Me and our little zoo. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the peace I feel, and find myself with a lump in my little throat at my good fortune and happiness. So long have I sought this and now it is here at last! I am so thankful, so very, very thankful.

I could not have achieved this level of joy on my own. Thank you all for the parts you have played in helping me to get to where I am today. Each of you have been there with a smile, a hug, a joke, honesty, advice, guidance, encouraging letters and emails and most of all with your own desire for my happiness. My friend Helen has frequently asked me how I can stay so positive about the future when so many genuine tragedies have befallen me in my past. Well now you know. Perhaps my life has not been perfect, but my family and friends have more than made up the difference.

I am thankful.

Chichen Itza

CHICHEN ITZA!!!

In an attempt to let the pictures speak for themselves, I will try to keep my comments brief in order to have more room to share pictures of this amazing, historical place.

Autumn at the Temple of Kukulcan
(Site of one of the 7 New Wonders of the World!)

Mike & Autumn beside the Temple of Kukulcan (Note: the large serpentine head just over Michael's shoulder at the base of the temple. This is where the shadow "body" of the snake is revealed once a year. See photo immediately below.)

This plaque hangs along the walls of entrance.

We were amazed to note the intricate carvings on almost every stone everywhere we went.

Here is Michael standing at the Base of the Astronomy Tower which was used to create the Mayan Calendaring system in accordance with the stars.

Note the faces carved on the corner of this structure. Aren't they neat?

These little figures in the boxes above appear to be animals. Mike & I thought that the one on the right was a turtle. What do you think?

Can I tell you how much we wanted to go exploring in this interesting looking place? Don't those holes and doorways just beg to be investigated?
I don't know what it is, but I liked it.

Leap Froggin' some ruins.
(Just kidding, I would never do that.)

A Mayan Archway.


Mike discovered these ancient wooden beams sticking out of the ruins.


We passed the Temple of Kukulcan several times
as it is centrally located amongst the ruins.


The now forbidden doorway we had so hoped to pass through. Alas, visitors are no longer allowed on or in the temples. It's a long (political/greed)story and so will not be included here.


This is the view of the temple on the way to the Ball Court.

Upon entering the Ball Court you become immediately engulfed in it's utter size.

Michael is on the left headed toward our tour group to view some of the wall carvings. If you look at the upper right hand wall you will see a little circle. This circle was where the players would try to get the ball to go through for their ball games.This picture only shows one HALF of the court. There are large throne-like structures located at each end for the royalty to sit and watch. Ancient box office seating, no?

Here is the other side of the court.

My favorite carving on the Ball Court walls.

Halfway between the Ball Court and the Temple of Kukulcan there is a sacraficial altar.





This unnerving walled structure was included in the sacraficial site. There is a legend that there are actual skulls encased in each of the bricks, but no one confirmed this for sure.


Legend or not, it was pretty creepy and a little fascinating.


Here are a few more engravings along the sacraficial altar areas.
In a few areas the original paint is still evident, as you will see.

Not sure why I am standing thus,
but the Temple of Kukulcan is just behind me (again) through those trees!
Excavating more temples from the ravages of the jungle.

There was a small structure covered in carvings of Jaguars.

From the looks of it, it was painted red originally.

This temple was very beautiful just because of the various colors of greys. There was also several spectacular trees on its grounds whose roots were literally growing through the stones of the ruined temples.

Next door to el Temple de los Grandes Mesas (Temple of the Large Tables), was el Templo de los Guerreros (The Temple of the Warriors, I think). This stunning place caused me to stop is awe. Hundreds and hundreds of pillars were erected in honor of the most valiant of the Mayan warriors; each pillar unique to its warrior. Due to the vast amount of pillars, we never got to see even half of them, but they--and the temple-- were beautiful to behold.
"Fallen Warrior"

This is the view as we turned to leave el Templo de los Guerreros.
Only two of the four sides of the Temple of Kukulcan have been restored. These last views are of the unrestored sides. Please also note that the stairs have been numbered in white paint. There was particular signifigance to the number of stairs in relation to the Mayan calendar.

This door leads into the hidden inner pyramid.

Hurricane clouds lent themselves nicely to the architecture.

Thank you for taking the time to look at and read about our wonderful trip. What a blessing to be able to share so much with so many family members and friends. Your interest and excitement over everything have meant a lot to us, thank you!

Special thank you's to John & Michelle LoRe and their family(Michael's little sister's family) and also to our Papa Pete and Mama Rosa whose generosity made this entire trip not only a possibilty, but a reality. Thank you again and again. We love you very much and will not soon forget how much you sacrificed to give us this gift. Love you guys!!