So there's nothing really wrong, but I find myself in emotional doldrums nonetheless. Por que? I usually ADORE the Holiday Season and its many traditions and celebrations. Has my inner child suddenly matured too much to enjoy the magic one always finds with such ease during this time of year? My heart shakes its head and laughs, as that will never happen, let's be honest.
Here's what I think: there are certain things I always assume for the Holidays and those things are not lining up as expected. I love to go crazy with gift giving; I love to go Home to Idaho to visit; I love to sing in Christmas programs; etc. Despite my best efforts and intentions none of these things are coming to fruition this year. Okay, big deal. I mean, so my traditions are a little unintentionally skewed this year, so what? Why am I allowing this to bring me down (because I am responsible for how I react to the various stimuli)? Does my Holiday Spirit dishevel with such ease because I have never built it upon a stronger, truer foundation? (Yikes, btw!)
I think I am being lazy. I really do. It takes effort sometimes to put on a happy face until it you really feel it. It is so easy to feel depressed, and Society guarantees every individual's entitlement with a Life Time Warranty, does it not? My plans may all be falling through the cracks, but that is okay. There will be other Christmases and some of them are sure to go as planned.
My house is not flooded, burned or destroyed, as are those of many families throughout our world. I have a loving people in my life, both family and friends, whose thoughts turn to those they love more than ever at this time of year. I am blessed never to want for love in my life. So many others in our world cannot say the same, or do not feel it even if it is there for them. I even have a decent paying job! And most importantly, no one has thrown (or desired to throw!) a pair of size 10 shoes at my little old noggin' regardless of my many imperfections. Phew!
What is this Season really about? It is about the Savior and His divine birth. When I think of this, my little plans and disappointments become things of naught.
(Funny how just typing this out has expunged most of my former langour. I feel better already--thanks for listening!)
Merry Christmas everybody. I miss you!
8 comments:
See, sometimes we just need to give ourselves a kick to get going. You've done that so get out there and enjoy! Merry Christmas :)
Watch an old favorite Christmas movie, pretent we're there with you and laugh in all the right places. We'll do the same thing here. We're watching The Best Christmas Pageant Ever right now, who knows what will be next! There's just not enough time to watch all the favorites. Curses!
FYI, what came next was The Muppet's Christmas Carol. Love it!
Good point! Thanks for sharing. I hope you have a very merry Christmas. Miss you too.
Oh, Aubie. I'm so sorry that we won't get to see you this Christmas. I was afraid it might not work out. But please take one evening this holiday season and meditate. Close your eyes and imagine you're on a comfy couch with a warm afghan around you. You're eating a bowl of Gran's good soup. You've got some anonymous cat on your lap, who completely adores you. You've just finished a puzzle with your wacky Aunts, and you can still hear their voices in the background as a favorite holiday movie is coming on TV. There...You're home!!!
I miss you too!
Beloved Aubus Daubus,
We must be more connected than we realize. I've had the hardest time getting into the spirit of the season this year. Part of the reason is financial, but it's mostly just all the change that has occurred in our lives since you guys were little. I miss you and everybody else in the family terribly. I blew off Jocy's birthday until tonight when I wrote the date in my journal and then had a quiet infarction (so as not to wake Sheryl or the puppies.) But you're right in that we need to decided to be happy. So that's what I'm going to do. But it doesn't keep me from missing my favorite daughter. Ti amo, figliuola.
Dad
Autumn, It was SO good to hear from you on my blog! It has been a long time! I hope your Christmas turned out happy! It is hard when your normal traditions get thrown off--hopefully new ones start though! I enjoyed reading your blog! Definitely look us up when you come to Idaho. We moved back after four years of being in Tennessee and Chicago. We thought we would never come back but the Lord had different plans!
Love,
Charity
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