I hadn't realized how much of a wanna-be recluse I had apparently become until lately. It used to be that the more I had to do the happier I was. I thrived on seeing how many things I could do, people I could talk to, places I could go, and things I could experience. No more. At least not for now. I have become overwhelmed--and I don't even have kids! ha! (All you parents can laugh at me, but please don't scold, judge or belittle.)
Take this coming Sunday for example: Get up; get ready; pick up my choir buddy; hit choir practice at 9:00; perform in Sacrament mtg; say closing prayer for Sacrament mtg; co-teach 14-15 yr old class right after Sacrament mtg; lead music in Relief Society and also do "practice song"; hit choir practice after Relief Society; drop off choir buddy; make a meal and then spontaneously combust. Ha?!
While this is an extreme example, it embodies the way I realize I frequently feel these days. Even on a work day I find I am exhausted by the end of my work day, my commute home and making dinner. My impulse is to become a slug at that point (about 7:30 or 8:00), but there is simply too much still to do. Dishes, weeds, laundry, dirty catboxes and hungry turtles mock me at every turn. Guilty confession: I find myself retreating behind more and more covers of more and more books in search of brief respites.
So my friends, if you are not hearing from me, now you know why. I have just gotten into a bit of an overwhelming slump. I'm sure to emerge again soon, as luckily these things never seem to last for long. I just need to get my second wind and then I'll be off and running all over again, I'm sure.
Behind my many diaphanous excuses is it obvious that I am really only tired?
Hugs,
Auty
6 comments:
To say that I can relate to what you are saying would be an
understatement in the extreme. I know, and have for years, that I could not have handled children. I can't even handle a life without them! One blessing I am better off without, I guess.
I think it's great that you're in the choir and saying the closing prayer, and all that. I'm especially impressed by your courage in taking on the 15 year old class. Who co-teaches with you? I imagine that the boys just stare at the perfection which is your face and the girls are divided between those who resent you for your beauty and those who want to be like you and so follow your every word like the elixir of life. Anyway, I'm proud of how busy your are. I trust that Michael has some busy parts to his Sundays, too?
Love,
Dad
I do not laugh at you or belittle you, but feel for you and say that you are in my prayers, so that you might have the energy you need and the help you need to do what you need to do. I love the busy bee title. It fit's you, being the insect lover that you are. You are unique. Love you
I think every time of life has been overwhelming to me at times; I'm just a human roller coaster. Teaching teenagers is something I've never gotten comfortable with. They scare me to death. I
love you so much and am so proud of you and Micheal.
I think life is just busy, no matter who you are. And I'm with Mom, I totally admire you for teaching the 15 year olds. I've never had a calling to teach the youth, but it is one that scares me!
And I really like your picture. A bubble bath sounds like a great idea.
Well, then you will forgive me for being so lax about keeping up with your blog, like I promised!! (This is the first time since my extremely wonderful Birthday Blog that I've been back....)
Auty, let's face the facts--children or no, we always find things to fill our lives with. There are just too many GOOD things in the world to every be bored! But the great challenge in life is finding BALANCE (that ever-elusive, constantly shifting, nebulous ideal), and yes, occasionally that includes just being still. When you figure out how to do that, please let me know the secret!!!
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