So many things are changing right now. And yet, so many things remain the same. Wow, that is such a generic beginning there might not be hope for this posting. Let's try again: I guess I am getting hyper-analytical over how much my life is about to change, and how everyone and their dogs are telling me the changes are unfathomable until they come. "There's no way to prepare so don't bother. Just know your life will never be the same." That kind of stuff. And most of it is spoken with the intent of stressing that it will for the majority be the best change ever. That part is cool. It's just that I am afraid I am going to lose myself in this process of having a baby, and as narcissistic as it sounds, I like myself and do not want to be parted from said self!
I heard a long, long, looooong time ago that unless you enjoy your own company you will never be able to truly enjoy the company of others. That statement really struck home to me and I decided, as an innate philanthropist, to give myself permission to learn to like myself in non-egotistical ways to be better company to those I love. Now, I'm not saying my balance between ego and self-liking has always been in balance/proportion to what my goals have been, but for the most part, well, I have been happy with myself. There are still millions of things I would like to fine tune and improve, but I have developed enough respect and honor for myself to be able to say I truly like myself and enjoy my "me" time.
Aha! And that is where I know you parents out there are probably chuckling and shaking your heads a bit at me. " 'Me Time', what is THAT?" you might be thinking with an audible sigh. Or "Pshaw! Get ready for a major wake up call." Right? Right. And I get that--as much as I can before the baby gets here, of course. It's just hard to embrace such a total change! More and more I am having these little lightbulbs go off in my pregnancy fogged brain and they are most startling indeed! ha ha. Here are a few for your laughing pleasure (and mine for future naivete referencing):
- GASP! We can go to the Harry Potter movie in November, no problem. But **double gasp** we will need a BABYSITTER for the last HP movie next summer! Oh my living HEART! (Being the responsible future parent that I am though, I booked a sitter this past Wednesday to cover me on opening HP night in July 2011. Phew! What a load off my mind that is!)
- Numbers on the scale going up week by week is a GOOD THING....? Um...yeah?
- Clothing sizes increasing is NORMAL and to be encouraged. No further comment at this time...
- Sleep will become a LUXURY. Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy!!!! *sniff* *sniff*
- I no longer need to constantly try to suck my stomach in for healthy back support because it is now impossible to do it. I can't. At. All. But hilariously enough I keep feeling myself try to anyway! What a dork, huh? ha ha ha!
- It may be a very long time before I again finish a book or series of books. This is a bone chilling concept for me, the bookworm girl.
- I will completely lose track of everything going on on Facebook and blogs with all of you...and will have no time/energy to back track and catch up!
- Mike and I will never be just the two of us again! If we want to go out of town...yeah...or to the movies...or grocery store at midnight...yeah...not going to happen like it used to!
- Next year I will need a Halloween costume for an 8 month old! WOAH!!!!! Weirdness!
Okay, okay so you're getting the gist, right? I think the whole Harry Potter thing was the first jolt (dare I say lightening bolt? ha ha ha) to my brain, and they're beginning to come more and more often now...at least to me. I don't think Michael really has a clue yet, poor guy. ;)
So love us in our cluelessness, wish us luck, and be sure to tell us what other things we can anticipate changing (besides diapers, of course).
Love,
Auty
4 comments:
You guys are both going to be such awesome parents and don't worry you will figure out what works for you guys as you go along. Everyone has an opinion about babies but you need to just trust in yourself and do what feels right to you. I remember having those yikes moments when I was pregnant with joseph. My first one was one night just after we had learned we were expecting I sat straight up in bed and looked at Ben and said I have to be the mom for the next 18yrs. Ben just smiled and looked at me like I was CRAZY! I knew that was how it worked but I was just so shocked at that moment. Love Ya!
Ha ha, Lynsey, that is so cute! And it makes me feel a lot better, thanks! :)
At first most of this is true, but you will eventually settle in to parenthood and be able to enjoy many things again.
And the word of advice, don't lose yourself, it's not healthy for you, baby or a marriage. Once things have settled down remember to do the things that you love and it will keep you sane. I love my children, and I also love working out and racing, so I make time for both, and we are all better for it.
Don't worry too much try to enjoy the last few months being prego, and having your husband to yourself.
Just wanted to say Hi. thanks for the blog invite. So good to read about your life and adventures. I'm glad you still like bugs. Being a mom is hard work, but so wonderful. And girls are so much fun. You'll figure it all out, and have fun doing it, too.
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