Saturday, May 2, 2009

To(e)ing the Line

Is it okay to just blurt out that I have broken the same toe three times in the last two weeks? 'Cus guys...yeah, I have! 

It's also the same toe I managed to break and re-break and re-break two years ago. 

Yes, and it is also one of the three toes I broke one day when I was about 16 and tripped down the house stairs right before hiking to and from Jenny's Lake (in Yellowstone or Jackson Hole area--little help here? Lived in Cali too long--ha!) one day.

I'm thinking amputation. Well, not really seriously, but this is crippling my life(style)! I have half-heartedly daydreamed the idea, but always come up short when I think of how everyone would ask Michael why he allowed me to do that to myself. (Poor Mikey!) Or when I think of Michael's face and horror upon discovering me one toe less in the bathroom. Yeah, that would be pretty messed up. (About as morbid as this creepy post I never should have begun...???) I don't know why my daydreams do not involve professional surgeons? I suppose it hankers back to the desperation driving the initial thought in the first place? Thoughts? Also, can we still be friends now that you know of my dark daydream? I promise I would never really do that to myself, so um, moving, er...limping on!

"Which toe is it", you may be asking? It's the second to last toe on my right foot; you know, the one next to the littlest piggy? Does one really need that toe? I mean, it's super cute and completes my set, after all, but it's DEFECTIVE. To say nothing of the crumbling effect upon my psyche. Everything the moves now frightens me. "No! Don't touch my toe!" or "Arrrrrg! You brushed my little knitting toe!" or maybe just sobs like this morning when my unsuspecting Pippy Cat landed on it and then thrust himself off of it with full-feline-pounce-force;thus re-break #3. (It was a dark morning at our house this morning, I'm sorry to say.) 

Is this post too whiney and dark? It is, isn't it? I'm sorry you guys! I've still obviously posted it, if only for some sympathy and to garner outside perspective on something that is chronically with me. Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can do for this toe? I seem to break and re-break it mostly at night as I wander into things or trip over things while half asleep. The thing is, I cannot sleep with tennis shoes on, nor am I coherent enough to always remember to turn lights on as I go, or remember my house slippers. Am I doomed? I don't believe I am. I'm not a "I'm doomed" kind of chick at all. I am just banging my head (and apparently my toe!) against a wall here, and would appreciate any thoughts or ideas you (or anyone you know) could/would pass my toe's way. 

Oh, and if it's not too greedy, will you also please help me come up with exercises to do until I can utelize both feet again? I am pretty much just doing sit ups and weights at the gym for now. Even cycling hurts, unfortunately so far.

To(e)tally appreciate your help & support everybody!!!

Love, 
Autumn

9 comments:

Beth said...

Well the only advice I can suggest is that it may be time to see the podiatrist. And to seriously think before chopping off your toe. My dad had his toenails removed from his big toes and it still freaks everyone out. Good luck!

Autumn said...

I'm not going to chop off my toe, but the constant pain keeps bringing the idea to my mind as a way to permanently end the pain in that toe. It wouldn't save my other toes from taking this toe's place though. I might just start breaking and re-breaking a different toe once this one had gone.

So amputation is not a serious option; just something I think of when in chronic pain.

I do like the idea of going to see a podiatrist though. Thanks Beth!

Jim said...

I'm very sorry to hear that it has happened yet a THIRD time! I feel awful for you, daughter-person, but I'm simultaneously charmed. You see, your mom had the same problem - chronic toe breaking. Always the same one, the littlest one as I recall. It was almost always either the coffee table or the bed in our own room. Realizing that you have yet another trait in common with her will probably be of little comfort, but it charms the daylights out of me! And, trust me, I've been just chock full of daylights lately and it is high time I had some of it drained off.

Love,

Dad

Autumn said...

Actually, knowing Mama had the same problem comforts me a lot, Dad. Thanks for telling me that. Perhaps it's just my genetically tiny bones in my toes that are prone to breaks and not that I am the world's LARGEST klutz after all. Yes, this helps my heart and mind quite a bit! Thank you.

Especially around Mother's Day, it's nice to find out something I have in common with her that I hadn't known before (even chronic toe breaking). Just think if I hadn't broke my toe; I wouldn't have found this out. These little similarities mean more as the time gets longer since her passing.

Silver lining acheived.Cool.I love you Dad.

Heidi said...

Autumn!! That is sooo sad! I have had the same thoughts about the baby toe on my right foot. I have broken it at least 4 or 5 times. It is soooo small. It is practically not there. But I still manage to break it all the time!! I love that you think you toes are cute. I only think 2 of my toes are cute. The ones next to each of my big toes. The rest of them are very weird looking. I truly hope that your toe will heal soon and that you will not break it again. Best of luck. Love you lots Cuz!!!

~Heidi~

James and Aimee said...

Oh Chica! Having only broken a toe one time I can't completely "feel your pain" but I know that I don't ever want to break a toe again, so I can have great sympathy for you.

And I just have to add that even if it wasn't intended, your post did make me laugh. Love to you! (and your toe:))

JJ said...

Ha, just yesterday I stubbed my right big toe and it hurt like a mother, partially because that's the toe I dropped a jar on from above my head when I was a wee lad and which got caught in the hole of an afghan and folded under, which I then stepped down on forcefully, when I was a teenager. Pretty sure it broke. And for the longest time, any time I'd bump it, it killed. Now, I rarely stub my toes (I think I became hyper-conscious of it), but yesterday was a reminder of that toe's unfortunate history. :-)

The Checks Mix said...

That stinks! Three times in two weeks! That is just not right! Are you taking a calcium supplement? I would definitely see a podiatrist to see if there is some other exercize or supplement or brace you can use. Good luck. I would love to see you when you visit Rexburg!

Charity

Jim said...

Actually, the expression "toe this mark (or line)" comes from boxing. The contestants were told to do so just before the referee started round one. Of course they don't do that any more. Pretty hard to draw a line in the sand or dust when you have a canvas mat, eh?

I hope the toe has knitted back together. Failing that, I hope it has knitted you a pair of socks or some other useful possession.
Love,
Dad