Monday, February 3, 2020

Fresh Start Feeling

I keep thinking about blogging and then not doing it because I don’t want to have to do it from my iPhone. So weeks and months and now years have gone by of me silencing my voice. That makes me kind of sad. I love writing and speaking and sharing and communicating. So here I go and maybe I’ll just try to keep my posts brief (laugh with me here, friends!) as I get back into all of this bloggishness. 
It’s a beautiful day her in So Cal and I can see the heavily laden orange trees over the backyard fence. It’s one of my favorite sights: oranges galore against a blue sky. Love the color combos. And I feel like, even if it’s been a blah or bad day, I can still treat my eyes with the beauty outside my door. I am a visual person, so sometimes I really, really need to look up from my laundry piles and see something refreshing and happy. It makes me strive for that same happy refreshment in my own home. It’s a good thing. 
Coming off of a very stressful few weeks and my house, as usual, reflects the turmoil within. But I’m working on it. And by stressful, I mean my anxiety has been in overdrive. I have a good life, happy marriage and wonderful kiddos. But, I also have chronic anxiety. So whenever I make plans or start a new project, or just whatever,  my anxiety perks back up again. It’s a daily battle, really. Because the flip side of me is that I love people and plans. So my anxiety tries to undo the other side’s positive planning. But I work very hard not to let it win, and in the fight to see it through, my personal environment often reflects the way my heart and head feel. I read somewhere that cleaning and organizing places around you can help resolve stress and anxiety though, so I also am usually trying to organize or clean things. ♾ 
And that brings me back to the oranges. One of my favorite scents and sights. I want my life to reflect the purity and vitality and freshness of oranges. 🍊 So back to the laundry piles I go. And maybe I’ll light a candle or two as I go. I’ve got this. 

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