Feminine Fabulosity: Some Favorite "Elle" Words

For years I have been intrigued by the store front of a certain building adjacent to the 405 North freeway entrance (which takes me home from the LA LDS Temple). It is a white building with green trim and a lovely set of steps leading up to the front door. I've never seen anyone go in or out of it which, to me, has given it an aire similar to what Charley Bucket must have felt towards Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory. On the building are the words "Louise Green Millinery Co." and just the word millinery fills my sentimental, old fashioned heart with awe. When was the last time someone you know spoke the word millinery? So cool!

Okay, so after years and years of passing Louise Green Millinery Co., I finally remembered to write the name down in my little red pocket book a few weeks ago so I could Google it. And the results? Totally awesome, if way out of my current budget and social setting! *wink* Check these little wonders out, will you? They take me to a place where you might here Miss Eliza Dolittle holler, "C'mon Dover! Move your bloomin' a**!" if you get my meaning. In a classic case of champagne taste meets rootbeer budget, here is a nibble of some of their sumptuous, tantalizing hats:

Cascading ribbons...

..and feather brimmed cloches?!

Didn't know you NEEDED a hat before, did you? Ha ha! Only problem (outside of budgeting of course) is obtaining an event to warrant such frosting in the first place. You know what I mean, chilli beans? Ah well. Oh! Before I forget, I also came across a recent article written about Louise Green Millinery Co., and have attached it here . Even if you don't read the article, be sure to scroll to the bottom for several of the most fabulous hats I have ever seen. FABULOUS, people, FAB.U.LOUS. I would love to hear what you think of all of these hats, so let me know!

And now for my other find of the month, from a hippy-ish company called "Lavender Girl" . While browsing a shop called Beauty Clinic (in Calabasas, near where I work), I stumbled across this little beauty of a hair clip:

And here's what it looks like in your hair (if you are standing there looking "nekkid"):

Isn't it lovely? I particularly like the wispy little curled feathers. Reminds me a little of the birds' feathers in the Dr. Seuss story when the birds kept vying for the most amazing tail feathers--just on a very small scale, of course. Now I am just trying to figure out where one could where something like this (while wearing lots of clothes, of course. What is UP with the nekkid looking models these days?!?!). What do you think? Where would you go wearing something like this? Would you pair it down with jeans and a cardigan? Or would you wear it with something sleek and sexy? Would you buy it only to have it sit collecting dust in your jewelry box (which is what I am afraid would be my case...)? Tell me your thoughts!

Thank you for joining me for this month's "Feminine Fabulosity"! I will see what I can come up with for the ides of March. :) If there is anything wonderfully feminine you've found recently you think deserves to be highlighted (whether fashion, or literature, or music, etc.), I hope you will send me the details so we can get the word out and spread the sweetness. 'Cus let's face it, sometimes it is just fun to be GIRLY! And lately I feel true feminity is harder and harder to find amidst all the "sexy, sexy, sexy" everywhere. Let's work together to bring the good stuff back and make it easier to find.

Love,

Autumn

"De Nile" Ain't Just a River

You've probably noticed my lack of talking lately. It's been a kind of rough time since a little before Christmas. And yet, it's also been a time of great blessings and a LOT of love, too. I guess I've just had weighty things on my little ol' mind. I've been carrying the dead weight of sadness in my heart as I've been going about being my "normal" self, which is something I can totally do and not be fake. I can just do it. I've had some practice in Life, ya know? So I'm now going to breach those subjects that have been in my heart and hopefully set my heart free to get back to being the more perky me. I am not talking about these things because I want pity or hand holding, but rather to be better understood. I am very strong, and I work constantly to remain so. However, I do manage to bottle things up unintentionally for too long a stretch, and this is me working on getting better at not doing that. I need to be more Honest, and part of me doing that means allowing others more into my heart, my mind, and my Life.

So #1. Mike's longest and best friend , Tim Sandor, committed suicide in December. It was awful. It was SO awful. I am not going to get into specifics of how or why, but suffice it to say none of us were expecting it and he was a beautiful, sweet, talented and successful man. Tim left behind a little 12 yr. old son (named Michael, after my husband), a devestated mother, sisters, step father, girlfriend and many, many friends. As if the loss of Tim wasn't sad enough, family members and loved ones almost immediately began vying for his belongings. We saw selfishness like you would not believe, and we tried to step in to make sure Tim's mother Snow especially would not get shut out, but our efforts failed and after praying and taking counsel with Pete & Rosa (Mike's parents) we politely withdrew. We stayed withdrawn until January 30, when we attended the spreading of Tim's ashes down in the Port of Los Angeles area. Watching Tim's ashes be spread and dumped into the ocean was one of the hardest things I have been through in a very, very long time. I realized by going through this experience that I do not approve of cremation and that I do value having one spot to go to in order to pay homage to the deceased. As Tim's ashes floated out into the sea and began to dissipate, we tossed roses and rose petals to make the journey with them/him. I kissed my roses and tossed them into the water, already moist from my tears. Tim had been a Navy Seal, and before we left his girlfriend said she wished she could see a dolphin to know Tim was there with us. I bowed my head and said a silent prayer to Heavenly Father asking for dolphins to come to us if there were any in the area. Nothing but sea lions and masses of pelicans and seagulls were around though. The boat made a wide circle around Tim's ashes and the roses, and we started back to port. The birds and sea lions followed us the entire way, which was really kind of special to me. I hoped that would be enough to lighten Tim's girlfriends heart. It seemed to help. Then she turned away to bury her face in her father's shoulder and Mike saw them. They were leaping and they were following the boat. They were a small school of dolphins and a large answer to prayers for wounded hearts. I called over the boat's engine noise to Tim's girlfriend that there were dolphins! She beamed and said she knew Tim was there, she just knew it. And my heart mended just a little bit. The denial Mike and I had both felt over the entire mess began to melt away. In a year's time, Michael will go to the temple to perform the needed work for his best friend Tim, and all will be set right for Tim, and hopefully for Michael and the rest of us, too. Even in darkness there can still be light found if we will but ask and seek.

And #2: I am in denial over my Dad's diagnosis of Alzheimers. Total denial. I have been holding this inside for quite some time so as not to cause stress in the family. Holding it inside is only causing me to have stress cankers in my mind and heart though. I just don't believe it and I am not going to hide my disbelief any longer. I will not. Hiding the way I really feel is not honest and not healthy. Does this mean I do not support my father? Of course not! I truly will always be there for my Dad no matter what. Truly. But I do not swallow all of this Alzheimer's crap. And to me it really is crap. And I know this will sound offensive, but I don't care what anyone says to me about it to try to change my mind. Hey man, they don't call in denial for nothing. And yes, it is a choice I am actively making every day. Does this have to do with the paralyzing feeling of losing the only parent I have left? Very probably in some respects, and unless you are standing in my shoes, and have lost a parent--one of the two people in your life who will always love you no matter what, and have known you since you were born, and believe in you more than you could ever believe in yourself--well then, you just do not understand this at all. And yet, even with all of THAT, (and I have given this more thought than you will ever, ever know), that still doesn't explain everything that makes this whole diagnosis unbelievable to me. And there are many, many things that I feel and think that if I was to say out loud even to most of my family members would ricochet around and hurt people. So I am exercising some needed caution in even admitting my denial at all. It is not right to explode my denial all over everyone without thinking of how it will effect everyone. I get that, I do. And yes, I have been praying and researching, and all the things I am sure you're going to want to suggest for me to do. But you guys, I just DO NOT believe it. And you can't make me, as silly and childish as I know that statement to be. So do not call me to talk to me about this. No one ever calls me anyway, so this would be a bad point to start calling me just to try to change my mind on this matter. If you cared about calling me before and talking to me, it would be okay to continue calling me. But since no one has called me before, this is not the right place to begin. If you call me, call me because you love me and want a relationship with me. NOT because my denial makes you uncomfortable.

Okay, that's probably enough ugly for one post. I only wish I hadn't allowed this to fester so much that it became this way. I'm sorry. I really am working on learning to be more honest and also to do it in correct and loving ways, but I have a long, long way to go. Please continue to be patient with me. Again, my intent is not to hurt or be selfish. I just want to be able to be real with myself. If I have offended you, please forgive me. I hope to do better by you in the future.

Love,

Autumn

For Michael, With Love on Valentine's Day

When I think of Love, there is a face

And when I think of Love, there is a name.

When I think of Love, there are certain memories

And certain smiles, and certain eyes.

For when I think of anything about you,

Love is all I feel.

Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart.

I love you so dearly with all my heart.

Love,

Your Aubala