Packed and ready to gooooooo!

This will be short, 'cus we're just about ready to head down to Santa Monica for the night. Mike's getting showered first though, so I've got a little time to chat.

As most of you already saw, I finally began cataloging my insect drawers today on Facebook. Did kind of a rush job with the pictures and collection data, but it's a definite step in the right direction. I've been meaning to do that for YEARS. Most of my insect drawers are packed away in the garage, too, so who know how soon I'll be able to finish everything up? Still, I am excited! The pictures I put up got very favorable comments and made my day. I wasn't sure how people would react to seeing a bunch of random, exotic bugs, but now I will look forward to sharing more in the future. I've even unearthed a few other insect enthusiasts in the process and look forward to having them over to see the collections in person. My camera photos wash a lot of the brilliancy away, unfortunately, so viewers cannot see their amazing iridescence and saturated colors. 

Nella tried chocolate milk for the first time today and took to it like a duck to Willy Wonka's mixing river. She did give me a quick, questioning look upon the first taste, but continued drinking when she saw me smile to reassure her. Cute times. Love my kiddo.

Trying to think what else is going on, but mind is stuck on the bug fair. Shocker.

Hope my favorite vendor/entomologist is there! His name is Dale Colby and he always has the best quality and selection. Mike and I have learned to make a bee-line (pun intended!) to Dale's booth as soon as we get in and buy a new drawer. The museum quality display cases (drawers) are about $55.00, but I get so many new bugs each year, they are a must. Anyway, Dale is the best and we always look forward to hearing all about his world travels and his recommendations for my collection. It's nice, too, because he looks for us to return to him each year now, and scolds us if we arrive late! Ha ha! I honestly believe Mike is afraid of another scolding this year from Dale if we don't get to the show soon enough. Cracks me up. 

Hope this year's fair is better than last year's. There were only a handful of vendors from whom I would buy last time. Many of the other vendors tried to push broken, damaged goods on me. Enter one of the largest pet peeves in my world. HATE that people think I don't know any better because I am a chick. Oh man, does that annoy me, you guys. The vendors are not even as guilty of it as my fellow buyers though. Almost every year I have some ignorant male try to tell me I don't need the insect I am trying to purchase. They point to a butterfly hoping I'll be distracted enough to walk away from the bug I spotted before they did. Fools. ;)

Tomorrow will be special though no matter what I buy or who is there. It's our family's day to be together and get our inner Nerd on, ha ha. But it will be fun, too, just because it's a treasure hunt and we love the thrill of the hunt. Most of all I hope to find one of those big blue weevils with the yellow fuzzies on it. Walked away from a pair of those a couple of years ago and haven't seen any since. 

Oh! Time to go!!!! Talk to you hopefully tomorrow when we get home!

Wish us well!

Love, 

Auty

Hopped Up & Happy

So I've had caffeine today. This evening to be exact. And I hardly ever indulge in it, 'cus it just gets me so hopped up and prevents me from sleeping. To take it at all is pretty rare, but in the evening is an especial No-No. What was I even thinking of?! Ha! Oh well.

Today was a pretty great day, but normal. Or maybe it was great because it was pleasantly normal? Yes, that's more like it. 

I took Penelope to her weekly play group at Shadow Ranch Park in West Hills. For some reason I had 9:30 stuck in my head as the time to be there, so we were there all alone for quite some time. I had just begun pushing Nella in the swing (which is on the way to the parking lot) when our friends began to trickle in. Then it was suddenly time to shift my mindset to "stay" mode rather than "leave". It was pretty mellow and many of us, both moms and kidlettes, were pre-tired. Even still, we didn't leave for several more hours. Looooooong day at the park!

Penelope was NOT tired though and took herself off to play deeply in the sun and sand. So much so that she got nice and sunburned before I thought to apply her sunscreen. Second time since Saturday, and I was pretty upset with myself for forgetting it again. She's got a bit of a tiny heat rash 'round her neck now, too, darn it. Mother of the year award goes to... >sigh< So now I am treating her rash with calamine lotion. Not that it seems to bother her in the least, but I have to do something to try to help, right?

After the park, we stopped to gas up at $4.23/gallon and then went home to put Pea down for her nap. She slept a couple of hours and I relaxed with a book, emailing, pestering Michael, a visit from my mother-in-law, Rosa, and Facebooking. I was a little hungry from fasting, so I was trying to take it easy while keeping my mind distracted. 

Which reminds me, my family and I fasted and prayed for my Cousin Sam's baby girl, Madeline "Maddie Jo" today. Maddie is about 6 weeks younger than Penelope and has been battling C. Diff for quite some time now. I am still learning about this kind of rare malady, but suffice it to say Maddie's extremely sick and the treatments so far have never cured her. In fact, she gets worse than ever after each treatment of antibiotics! It is getting very alarming, so my Cousin Heidi (Sam's little sister) wrote everyone yesterday to ask if we'd fast and pray for Maddie. So that's what we did.

I had expected to probably feel super weak from fasting, but in retrospect that was not the case. I honestly felt like the Spirit was giving me everything I needed as I swept through my day. 

It was such a blessing to be able to fast with my family members! I am almost always in a state of chronic and extreme homesickness, so to be joined in this fast with my loved ones lifted my spirits and brought them Home close to my heart again. I fasted all day with peace and was kind of sad to have it end this evening. Felt like my heart had to finally hang up the phone, if that makes sense. 

I sure hope that baby Maddie will be okay and soon. We'll just have to keep praying that this latest round of antibiotics will finally be enough to stop the disease. God bless her sweet little body! It breaks my heart when I hear all she has been going through. And my heart aches for her wonderful parents as well. If hearts could heal with loving thoughts, right?

It has been a real nice, peaceful evening 'round these parts. Nella and I got the front lawn and garden watered earlier. Truth be told, Nella also got HERSELF good and watered as well, ha ha! DU-RENCHED! Boy oh boy, does this baby girl love herself some good water! Played in the mister at the park. Played in the sprinklers and hose water in the yard. Splashed herself almost to oblivion in the bath water and even attempted to drink it. Lovely. What else would one expect from a little Aquarius though? Funny, none of this sounds all that peaceful, but my happy mind recalls it that way nonetheless. Just a good night together at Home is peace enough for me.

I love my family. I just need to say that again. It can never be said enough to do my feelings justice. Near or far, you guys are my very heart. You make me better. I love you. I miss you. 

Talk to you all again very soon.

Love, 

Autumn

I feel a blog coming on!

Oh my goodness! Where to even begin at this point? Right?

So much to say.

Mother's Day was a blur. Had to work at a craft faire with my mama-in-law, Rosa, on Saturday and Sunday. Also was one of the speakers in Sacrament Mtg. on Sunday, so that was crazy.

I usually enjoy writing and rehearsing my talks, but for some reason (extreme dieting, maybe?) I couldn't focus and was up until 1:00 A.M. Saturday night writing it. So then I never even re-read it before giving my talk. I felt nervous and disjointed almost the whole time I was speaking, which is weird for me, but I made it through and I think it was okay. Mike said it was and so did a few others, but I had to leave so quickly afterwards (to go sit at the craft faire) that my lacking self esteem never got the all reassurances it was craving, ha ha. C'est la freaking vie, no?

The craft faire was, bleh. I don't enjoy the faires if you want to know the truth. I never get paid for working them because we never sell enough that I would feel good about taking anything from the small profits. But it's part of Rosa's dream and I want to help her in any way I can. She is so good to me and everyone else she knows! So bring on the faires. I'll do it for my Rosita.

I barely got to see Penelope on Mother's Day. Not even a single picture together! That was the main bummer for me. During Sacrament Mtg., she wailed as soon as she saw me at the pulpit and couldn't come to me. A friend quickly whisked her to the hallway and I didn't see her again until the meeting was over and she needed a diaper change before I left for the faire. It was so hard to leave her behind, but it was best that she not attend the faire and get sunburned and/or possibly lost in the crowds.

Don't know why I'm going on and on about Mother's Day. Guess I just haven't talked about it with anyone, and it's been a little blue spot on my heart.

In other news though, I am ridiculously excited for this weekend's annual Bug Fair at the LA County Museum of Natural History (LACMNH). I don't know when I've been so excited for a show in years! Maybe it's because we can better afford it this year than in the years before. Maybe it's because I know exactly the types of insects for which I am searching, so it feels somewhat like a treasure hunt. Not sure, but I am super-duper excited to go and so is Michael.

Have I told you before what Michael does for me every year? He takes on extra side jobs (on top of everything ELSE he already does!) and then gives me the money so I can spend it on dead bugs. Seriously. And he INSISTS on it, too. During our leanest years, he still somehow always found a way to make sure I got this once a year "treat". And you might think I'm exaggerating, but we've been going to the show for so many years now (i think close to 8?) that he anticipates it as much as I do. It is one of our only traditions apart from picking out a Christmas tree. Aren't we crazy kids? I am blessed to have my husband support my hobby. Honestly I would have given it up ages ago if it weren't for Michael. Maybe he knows that, too. It is so important that we support each other in the things that bring us joy, don't you think?

Anyway, we had been planning to be the first ones there at 9:30 on Saturday morning, but then I suddenly realized that Mike works at the temple on Saturdays. (Used to be Tuesday nights for over a year, but it was too hard with work, so he switched recently to Saturday mornings.) Duh! So then he felt awful for being the one who would make us go late. I told him it was fine (and sincerely meant it!), but he was pretty sad. (You see, there are lots of people there early on the first day to try and buy the most rare insects for their collections, so going late means possibly missing out on some cool things.) So THEN, Michael calls me and tells me that we can try to rent a room at one of the Church apartments (on the grounds behind the temple), so that way he can sleep a little later than 4:00 A.M. and we can also leave within minutes of his shift ending around noonish. I had never heard of such a thing, but turns out it's true, so we're booked for Friday evening at the temple apartments! Crazy cool. Mike can sleep til 5:00 A.M. for once, and he can nap for the 30-45 minutes it takes to drive there. YAY!

So now what I need to do to prepare for the insect show is to start cataloging my exotic weevil collection right away. That, by far, is my best developed collection. Even so though, I have managed in my zeal to accidentally duplicate a couple of my species and subspecies. So in an effort to avoid doing any more of that (which, believe it or not, can be QUITE costly), I am going to create a Facebook/iPhone album full of my weevils. And if I have time after that, I'll try to get some of my other green beetles or pyrops catalogued as well. Stay tuned!

Penelope recently had her 15 month check up. As usual, she's huge! 95th percentile for height at 32 1/4" and 75th percentile for weight at 24.12 lbs. It's crazy how fast she is growing! She wears mostly size 2 clothing, which has a lot to do with her huge head (also in the 95th percentile). I never, ever, thought my 15 month old would be half my height, but she certainly is. CRRRRRRRazy!

The last two rooms in our house are creeping very close to being finished. Floors and windows are taped off so texture coating and then paint can be applied. Then we'll call the carpet installers and get the rest of the carpet put in. Funny that the rest of it (the carpet) went in last July...There is only so much that can be done when you have a husband who works 12 hour days, is the Elders Quorum President, and a Temple ordinance worker. When I think of it that way, I am surprised we are as close as we are to finishing! Michael is The Man. :)

Sorry no pictures this time. Our computer has been having issues, so we don't have access to most of the things we've downloaded. I will try to include links to my Facebook albums for those who aren't on there.

Hope this finds everybody doing well! I have missed you all and your wonderful blogs! Thanks for your encouragement as I make my way back into the scene.

Love,
Autumn

Back in the Saddle Again

>Sweep< >Sweep< >Sweep<

Achooooooo!

Sorry. Had to dust the ol' Blog off, here. ;)

My apologies for not having blogged with you guys before now. Life has been uber busy, and we disconnected the internet at our home for several months while we finished renovation on three of five rooms. I often contemplated attempting to blog via Mike's Blackberry, but my fingers actually quivered and hid every time! Ha ha!

Aaaaaand, wouldn't you know it, Nella just woke up early from her nap. >Sigh< So with this I will bid you a fond adieu and hope to talk with you more very soon. (Talk about anticlimactic!)

Love,

Autumn

Things I Want to Remember...

I keep having this sinking feeling that I should have been better chronicling my first pregnancy. And yet, when I pause to reflect on what it is I want to remember, my foggy brain goes *blank*. Lovely. My mind then gently reminds me that if I was journaling daily as I used to, this forgetfulness would no longer really be an issue, as the details of life and pregnancy would naturally flow and be captured in the day's snapshot entry. So true.

I know part of the reason I feel the tug so strongly to journal is that I want Penelope to know about my pregnancy in case I am not around when she gets to have her own babies some day. ( I am not being morbid--I just think this way naturally as a reflex since I have been living this way for so many years, myself.) I cannot tell you how many, many times I have wanted to know something about my own Mama's pregnancies, or about her pregnancy specifically with me, or something about my own birth and not been able to get the answer since she is not here. Here are some things I want to know from my Mama:

• Did you have morning sickness with all four of us? If so, for how long typically? What things helped with the sickness? Were there different things each time, or did the same things seem to help every time?
• Did you carry me differently (higher, lower, wider, etc.) than you carried the boys? Who was the most active? Who gave you the worst morning sickness? Tell me everything!
• Besides your craving for green apples, what else can you tell me about your pregnancy with me? Did you think I was a girl or a boy?
• Who made me the green blanket I loved so much? Was it you?
• Will you tell me the story of my birth from labor to delivery? I remember certain parts of the story, but not like you would.
• Did you ever gain much weight in your pregnancies? The pictures don't seem to show you did, but I'd still like to know. Also, how long did it take to lose the weight usually?
• How quickly were you able to breast feed the first time? What can you tell me about it all?
• This isn't a question, but I'd like to sit and compare my experiences with yours to see if there are any similarities. I would really, really love to be able to do that...Makes me weepy with longing--for reasons I am sure you understand, since you lost your Mama while you were young, too. And ironically, I would also like to talk to you about THAT, too, and cannot.
• Also not a question, but I feel so lost as to how and when things should be getting done in preparation for Penelope's birth. Despite best intentions, it sometimes feels as if no one is helping me the way you just naturally would have, so I am constantly having to ask people for the answers. It can sometimes feel exhausting hunting down all the "To Do's" and sorting through everyone else's opinions to find what I think (but do not know) is the best option. Let's be honest, I don't know anything at all about baby showers, registrations or anything else. I have been reading book after book after book and I feel like I still might fail my "final exam". What would you have told me? Would you be calling me as often as I tell myself you would? Would you be down here to help me get ready? In the throes of feeling sorry for myself, I have made you into some type of "woulda-shoulda-coulda" guardian angel who I am sure would have sailed in to save the day every time I have begun to even slightly panic. I tell myself you would have the words to calm me; the listening ear to hear me patiently (again and again); the wisdom and advice given before it was even required. How true is all of this?
• Do you think I will be a good mother? I know you would say yes, but I still want to hear it and all the reasons you would have for saying so. You were so unfailingly kind AND honest and my heart searches for your specific reassurances even after all these years.

Okay, so that's a tiny portion of the loop of questions playing incessantly in my mind these days. Mix that with pregnancy hormones and solitude and you get the picture of why you're not hearing from me more often--any of you. I don't know where to begin, and I don't want to be overly pitied or preached to, and I don't want to cause pain or worry to those I love, so I just stay quiet. But I am a bit unnerved. And hormonal. Don't forget hormonal, ha ha ha.

The one major blessing I feel though is something I haven't shared publicly, simply because it is so special to me that I have been guarding it almost protectively (if that makes sense). Mike and I were recently called and set apart as temple ordinance workers in the LDS Los Angeles Temple in Santa Monica. We started there about 5-6 weeks ago, and it is the most peaceful, amazing place to be able to go every Tuesday afternoon/evening. It seems like no matter what else is going on, or how many hormones I've got raging, as soon as we step onto the temple grounds my heart is at immediate peace. And I stay at peace the entire time we are there and all the drive home, and even until I collapse into bed to sleep. I have always loved the temple, but I now have such a strong testimony that it truly is God's house. It is, you guys, it IS. Standing in the Celestial Room the other day, I had the strongest impression that I was not alone, and that Grandaddy knew I was there and thinking of him. So often while I am walking in the hallways, I will have friends' or loved ones' names come into my mind, and I will stop and add their names to the prayer roll. Also, being able to hear so often the blessings and promises God has for all of His children--all of US--fills something in my soul that words alone will not, cannot do justice. Tuesdays at the temple are my new favorite thing. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Mike will be serving Tuesday evenings at the temple for the next two years and I will serve until Penelope comes (or most likely right before). If you live in our area, are LDS and have a current temple recommend, please stop by on a Tuesday evening and spend some time in the House of the Lord with us. If you're not LDS, but would like to know more OR you'd simply like to have a festive, specially guided (by yours truly) tour of the beautifully Christmas lit temple grounds and newly renovated Visitor's center, just say the word. I'm your girl. :)

So yes, I am sometimes crazily stressed about baby stuff, but I also have something even stronger and brighter that is helping me be happy and optimistic: God's Love. And that is also something I very much want to remember from this special time in my life. To those of you who make the time to send me texts, emails, Facebook messages and also give gifts of advice, hugs, kisses, baby items and/or a listening ear, you are a big part of what I consider to be the source of God's Love. Reminds me of President Dieter F. Uchdorf's talk about each of us being God's Hands. Click here if you'd like to read it. It's awesome and it's so true.

Merry Christmas everyone! May we all find ways to lift those who are in need during this special Holiday Season, that we might better remember what Christmas is all about.

Love you,

Autumn

Perfectly Imperfect

Life has been so crazy lately! Car changes, fish tank dramas, baby registration boot camp, master bedroom painting storms, trips to flooring companies, laundry overload (every pun intended), last minute jack-o-lanterns and Halloween decorations... You name it, we've stressed it, baby!

And yet, we are doing better than ever. We might go through snippy sections during parts of the stress, but we always come through as a united team in the end. I am learning and remembering how the Lord has told us that he gives us trials to strengthen us and bless us. I am telling you, this is the truth. The absolute truth. NOT that I am lining up at God's doorstep for more necessarily (ha, ha), but just that I see that Mike's and my relationship is growing stronger and closer as we go through these imperfect situations together. And it makes my heart swell with such gratitude. Por que?

Pues, I have been wondering how Mike and I are going to handle having a little sunshine baby 24/7 with all of our imperfections and silly character habits. You know, the same worries every potential parent probably has. Nothing major. Just...yeah. Are we going to go crazy due to lack of sleep and lose patience with each other? Are we both going to freak each other out with wanting everything to be perfect for Nella P? (btw, her name's going to be Penelope Rose, thus the little nickname I tossed out back there. Thought I had better explain before continuing my neorotic monologue, ha ha.) And just silly stuff like that, you know. I haven't lost any sleep over these little thoughts, but they come and go--especially in imperfect times.

Which is why it's been really reassuring to go through such a flurry of stresses lately, so I can see that we do make a good team and will be alright as we approach new (exciting, scary, exhausting, FUN, smelly) things together. If that makes any sense outside of my own head...? Perhaps I've only succeeded in making us sound troubled when I was shooting for "normal", but I hope this all made sense the way it was intended. We may not be perfect, but we are pretty frackin' cool. And yes, I just used the word "frackin'". Bottom line: I love being a part of Team Mulverhill. Such a blessing even through the stressin'.

Okay, and in other news, I have been slacking on doctor appointment details and such. Apologies! Here's the latest:

• I have my 1 hour glucose test this Friday morning (11/5/10) at 8:00 A.M to test for Gestational Diabetes. Will need to begin fasting Thursday at 7 P.M., but can have water up until the test begins. Then I will drink the orange nastiness! Blech! (Why can't it be a crunchy/salty test instead? I am so not a sugar person.) After a bit, they will apparently draw my blood to see if the glucose is being properly processed. Hopefully I will pass this test and have no problems. If I fail it though, I will then have to go back and do a three hour orange nastiness test with more needles, blood drawings... and if I fail again possibly have to take insulin for the remainder of the pregnancy. I doubt I will fail, but at least I know what to expect if I do, which makes it not so freaky to me.
• My 7 month OB/GYN visit is set for Tuesday morning (11/1610) at 11:15 A.M. We'll be going over the glucose test results and I think also discussing my next ultrasound. Again, these visits are usually in the 5 minute long range, so no biggie. I just like to hear the baby's heartbeat each time! Pretty cool stuff! That, and her constant punches and kicks are very entertaining, too. Cracks me up every time! :D
• My last ultrasound showed a perfectly formed heart and the sweetest little face of all time. Penelope has got some big peepers and cute chubby cheeks! The sonographer was particularly impressed with P's railroad track perfect spine and kept going back to look at it and exclaim at how nice it was. We proud parents beamed to hear her praised so! :) Mike was SO CUTE to watch while he watched the baby!!!! You guys, I so love my husband! He is going to be such a good daddy!
• My last OB/GYN test was just fine. Heartbeat was normal, no questions or concerns. Dr. Galitz mentioned that I will soon be moving up to the every two week visits with him instead of the once a month visit.
• I still haven't booked my BRCA appointments! Honestly, I just keep forgetting. Darn this pregnancy fog!!! I will book that soon and report back asap. I am not getting cold feet about getting tested, I promise!

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. Besides, I am out of time! Ha ha!

Loves,

Autumn

Quick Update

I can't begin to chronicle the journeyings-both physical and spiritual-of the past week or two yet. As Legolas says in the Lord of the Rings movies, "I have not the heart to tell you; for me the grief is still too near."

What I can do though is let you know when my next two dr. appointments are:

• I have an ultrasound this Friday, Oct. 15th, at 9:00 A.M. (w/an 8:45 check in). Mike will be joining me for this one and I am very happy about that. Baby is going to be 6 months along as of Sunday, so we are excited to get to see her again at this stage. The only thing I am not particularly thrilled about are the 32 oz. of water I need to drink and hold in for the procedure. But such is life, and really that's no big deal.

• My 6 month OB/GYN check up with Dr. Galitz in on Tuesday, Oct. 19th, at 11:15 A.M. This should be pretty short, and we'll listen to baby's heartbeat and probably discuss Friday's ultrasound and how the baby's heart is looking, etc. So I am looking forward to that as well. I plan to attend this appointment on my own as they are usually only 5 minutes or so long, and Mike would lose about 2 hours of work in travel time and office waiting time to be there. Besides, I kind of enjoy doing some of this stuff on my own. It's just easier. :)

In the meantime, I am just EXHAUSTED. I went to bed last night before 8:30 had even rolled around and man did I need the rest. I haven't felt fatigue like this since the baby was building placenta a couple of months back. It's like hitting a warm wall and thinking, "Hm. I seem to have hit a warm wall. It's so cozy! Maybe I'll just...just...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...."

ha ha ha! I'm serious. I constantly feel the need to nap, even if I've just awoken the moment before. So yeah. Tired.

Baby's kicking me pretty much 24/7. I think she must be going through some kind of growth spurt, too, which would help explain the lack of energy. I also think that my recent trip took its toll on me. My last day up in Idaho I barely moved off of my brother Joseph and sister-in-law Mary's couch. I was spent. When I got home I weighed myself and saw I had actually lost a teensy bit of weight in the week that I'd been Home, but no worries, I am back to normal plus another pound or so nowadays. I'm still not back up to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my dr. says I am gaining just right, so nothing to worry about there either. I am actually very grateful for the lost weight from the morning sickness that is allowing me to stay more slender throughout this whole process. I have always been scared of gaining a lot of weight during pregnancy and not being able to recognize myself by the end. This way I am still able to eat as much as I need and want, but not get too chubby.

Oh, one last thing is an update on the genetic counseling appointment for the breast cancer BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. I called to book my appointment when I got home last week and a nice nurse named Jo is now trying to get me pre-approved for the actual BRCA tests now, too! We briefly discussed my family history and she said it would most likely take her a week or two, but she thought it was worthwhile to try to get everything set up for the same visit to save me time and trips over the hill to Los Angeles. Honestly, I couldn't agree more with her. Please keep this matter in your prayers on my behalf if you would? Genetic counseling is a good step forward, but to be able to be approved for the actual BRCA tests would literally be a dream come true. Especially now that I know I am carrying a daughter in my womb, the intensity of needing to know whether I carry one or both of these genes has gone through the roof. This knowledge will also benefit my neices and my maternal cousins. If I can get tested then it clears the way for each of them to be tested as well, and then they can better plan for their own futures. You get my point, I'm sure. Precaution leads to prevention; knowledge to planning.

More soon.

Love,

Autumn